A voice left silent for too long
Cracking, straining to find the flow
The words seem distant
My fingers can't quite touch them
But there's something inside
Screaming to be let out


Years spent trying to find normal
Working desperately to keep it inside
Pretend it doesn't hurt
Pretend it isn't all wrong
I'd hoped that it would all just slip away
But my life is slipping with it

I make myself look in the mirror
I pose a little
I flash myself my best smile
Tell myself that it isn't that bad
All I can manage to convince myself is
That I look okay 'for a guy'

The fear is still there
Still clutching it's icy claws into my heart
Still making me wake up in cold sweats
Breathless and horrified, on the edge of a scream
Every day, I am afraid that I will never be
That I will fade away, locked inside of my outside

It isn't a phase
It isn't some confusion I'll grow out of
I won't wake up one day and decide it's all alright
I have to learn to accept who I am
The gap, the flaws, the differences, they don't define me
The woman I know I am inside is the truth

I fear that you won't see it
That no matter what I do, no one will accept me
That the outside will strangle the inside off forever
And it will fade away
The words buried deep inside, that I've kept locked to myself
They're my salvation

So I stand, alone if I have to
I scream out that I am here, I am not going away
If no one listens, it won't shake me
Because as long as I am screaming
As long as the words see the light of day
I will never, ever fade